Have you ever thought about the significance of friendship? Most likely you have a friend or two in your life right now, perhaps a dozen or more. Do you value them? I mean, do you truly value them?
Many individuals call just about everyone they meet a friend. Does someone you’ve recently met constitute a real friend? I believe that a real friendship takes time to build before being able to be labeled a friendship.
Friends come and go in our lives over the years. Some pass through in the blink of an eye it seems, others hang around a while but fade in time, yet others stick around for the duration of a lifetime. Can these all be called friends?
Friends serve various purposes in our life. Some are there for a short time-frame. Perhaps you and another individual facilitate a project together and develop a rapport for the duration of the project. It pulls you both together for a certain purpose, and through that purpose you become friends. However, once the project is completed and you no longer work together every day, you find you share very little without the project, so you soon go your separate ways. The purpose has been completed. This can happen in any relationship. Once a purpose has been served, the reason for the relationship is over.
Others come into your life and your friendship lasts for some years. Perhaps you live in the same neighborhood and your children play together continuously. You may visit with each other frequently, maybe even daily, and feel inseparable. But suddenly you discover you have to move away. You are both sad but vow to always remain friends, promising to visit each other often. That’s exactly what happens the first few years, but new friends enter into your life in your new place. Your children have grown and have new friends, and you have changed a great deal along the way. One day you realize you haven’t talked with this friend for many months; the friendship has all but slipped away.
Associations enter your life through your workplace. For example, you may remain at a particular job for a decade, so consider those co-workers your friends. One day you move onto a different job after those ten years, thinking the co-workers will always be your friends. Within months however, most, if not all of those so-called friends have lost their commonality with you and the connection is broken.
We attract some individuals into our life through manipulation. There is something to be gained by hanging around with a particular person, perhaps in a personal asepct, or for a business purpose. We “pretend” with a friendship, possibly without even knowing this consciously, because we are so intent on creating this connection in order to receive whatever it is we want. We’ve all been here at some point in our life, using someone for our personal gain. Would you seriously call that friendship?
Then there is the individual who is there no matter what, throughout your entire life, no matter where you live or how much you change. This friend and you have developed a bond that goes beyond the earthly ties of typical friendships. You both understand what it means to be a friend and truly value each other. This friend is a treasure, one of your greatest gifts in this lifetime.
This type of friendship we would do well to cultivate before “tying the knot.” It seems if more couples developed this deep, bonding friendship and truly valued it as a great gift, there would be less divorces and more happy marriages or commitments. One of the primary forces that allow individuals to build a life-long friendship, is to accept and honor the other person and their perceptions as perfect for them, whether they align with your perceptions or not. When you do this, you validate the other person, and there is no need to be right. Expectations are let go of which gives each partner the freedom to be who they are.
Throughout the years I’ve watched people who I thought were my friends come and go, and sometimes it surprised me because I thought a particular person would be around for the long haul. But people change. What I came to realize is that if one friend in a relationship grows spiritually, so that they rise to a higher vibrational level, the other friend feels threatened and doesn’t resonate any longer since his/her vibration is lower. So they move on, as it can only be, for what brought the two together cannot exist when they vibrate at different levels. This can happen in any relationship. If you realize that the relationship as it was cannot be anymore due to the growth in that one person, it helps to alleviate the disappointment and perhaps pain of disengaging.
However, it is possible to remain in a friendship even when you vibrate at different levels, as long as the distance between your two vibrations isn’t too wide. Sometimes we’re in that relationship to help the other person grow, but of course that only works if the person wants to grow. At times in every relationship, there will be periods when the alignment seems off as one person grows faster than the other. A person who understands this allows the space needed until the partner catches up and harmony is once again restored. This process happens repeatedly in all relationships throughout our lives. It’s only when the partner has no interest in growing with you that the relationship cannot continue to exist.
There are many qualities that depict a real friendship: trust, loyalty, understanding, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, appreciation – all expression of love. A true friendship always has a foundation in love, because love is what gives us the good in our life. Understanding unconditional love is key for building strong, healthy, life-long friendships that continue through the years. Many aspects go into creating, maintaining and keeping these friendships. I invite you to read the “Friends Forever?” e-Book by visiting www.wheremiracleshappen.com. It can be life-changing for you as you understand the value of each and every friend in your life, and how blessed you are to have them. You’ll learn how to create new, wonderful friends and how to keep them for a lifetime.
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